


have you ever been in love?

by Fleeples



Category: Lizzie Bennet Diaries
Genre: First Dates, Gen, Love, Sisters
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-02-26
Updated: 2013-02-26
Packaged: 2017-12-03 15:44:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,085
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/699892
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fleeples/pseuds/Fleeples
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"I can't believe this is happening. This is my little sister. My baby sister. I can still remember her asking me to help her pick out an outfit for her very first date. She was excited but... nervous. So nervous."</p><p>three scenes; based off this quote & after Okay.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. I

“What about this?” Lydia, fourteen, twirls in a circle, her pink dress fanning out beneath her, her mouth stretched in a wild smile. “Adorbs, right?”  
“You have got to stop saying that phrase before it becomes a habit,” laughs Lizzie, then stands up to examine the dress. “It’s cute, but don’t you think it’s a bit low cut?”   
Lydia looks down and frowns, and suddenly her body feels awkward and exposed, but she wipes the frown off her face and shrugs. “You’re such a drag, sis. But whatevs. I’ll find something else.”  
“You did look nice, though,” adds Jane, who is sitting on her bed, assembling a variety of makeup to aid Lydia in her plight.  
“Hold on,” says Lizzie, and elbows Lydia out the way of her dresser. “I might have something.”  
“Ew, gross.” Lydia sticks her tongue. “All your clothes are from dragsville. Do you even own anything that you couldn’t wear to a funeral?”  
She gets another elbow in the side for her trouble.  
Lizzie rifles inside a little more and then pulls out a silky summer dress that swathes in colour from orange to pink, patterned with tropical flowers. She holds it up against her sister’s frame and smiles. It suits her.   
“Wow,” says Lydia.  
“I’ve never worn it,” admits Lizzie. “It was a gift, but it’s not my kind of thing.” She presses the hanger into Lydia’s hand. “Go change. Keep it if you like it.”  
Lydia smiles and throws her arms around her sister. “Thank you, thank you, thank you!” Shakily but with a smile, she ducks down the hallway to change and reappears within a surprisingly short time.  
“Wow,” say Lizzie and Jane in unison.   
“Do I look alright?” She twitches the edge of the fabric and then grins. “Do you think Jack’ll like it?”  
“You look great,” says Jane. “He’ll love it. Hold on, I’ve got just the thing to finish it off.” And she’s gone like lightning before either Lizzie or Lydia can ask where she’s gone.  
“It really does suit you,” compliments Lizzie.  
“Thanks.”  
Lizzie grins and then sets about picking up the array of rejected compositions on the floor, humming to herself quietly.   
“Hey Lizzie?”  
She looks up. “Mm?”  
“Have you ever been in love?”  
Lizzie smiles and then shakes her head. “No.”   
She’s had crushes. Intense ones, even. A couple of boyfriends, a smattering of dates. But she’s never been in love. And it’s not something that worries her. She’s seventeen. She doesn’t need to be in love yet.  
Lydia smiles, butterflies still flitting in her stomach. “I wonder what it’s like.”  
Lizzie pauses in her task for a moment. “Me too, I guess.”  
Jane wanders back in, a look of delight in her eyes, her arms full of various clothes and accessories. She hands Lydia a pink cardigan and gold necklace, and starts on working on Lydia’s hair, a look of utter focus in her eyes. Nothing could disturb her right then.  
A few moments later, she steps back.  
“Perfect.”  
Lydia grins, full of elation, mixed with fear.


	2. II

Lydia comes back late that night, and knocks on Lizzie’s door. Lizzie is awake, reading, but in a perfect trance.  
“Have you only just got home?”  
“Yeah.”  
“How was it?”  
“The best. Totes amazing. He’s so great.”  
Lizzie smiles. “Go to bed now. You were meant to be back an hour ago.”  
Lydia rolls her eyes, and goes to close the door, but then freezes.  
“Hey Lizzie.”  
“Yeah?” she says, pulling herself away from her book.  
“I think I know what it’s like.”  
Lizzie smiles, and Lydia disappears into the darkness.  
She doesn't know. Not yet.


	3. III

It’s the dead of night, and Lizzie can’t sleep; which will turn out to be a recurring pattern. The drama’s cooled down, but Lizzie still has a busy mind and two sisters to worry about. To occupy herself, she’s scrolling through the internet- which will probably end badly, but at least it keeps her mind off the circle of questions spreading thereabouts.  
She’s surprised to hear footsteps in the hallway and glances up.  
“Hey,” whispers a voice.  
“Lydia. I’m sorry. I didn’t wake you, did I?”   
“Nah. Couldn’t sleep.”  
“That’s understandable.”  
“Can I come in?”  
“Of course. Of course you can.” Lizzie closes the lid of her laptop.  
“Geez, you don’t need to try so hard, sis,” she says.  
“Sorry.”  
Lydia almost makes another comment, but drops it. She flings herself down on the sofa and stares up at the ceiling, while her sister stares at her.   
“Did you want to talk about something?”  
“No. I just want to... be. Not alone. Just exist.”  
Lizzie nods, and fumbles with the edge of her phone for a few moments before returning to the internet. She’s thinking too much again.  
It’s a full ten minutes before Lydia stirs, says anything, and when she does, it’s a quiet whisper, but Lizzie is so attuned to her that it might have been a shout.  
“Lizzie?”  
“Mm?”  
“Have you ever been in love?”  
Lizzie closes her eyes for a second, and tries to work out the answer. In the end, after a full minute of silence, all she can muster is: “I don’t know.”  
Lydia nods. “Fair enough,” and sits upright, hugging her knees to her. “I have.”  
“With him?” says Lizzie, taking care to respond as neutrally as possible.  
“Yes.”  
Lizzie nods, and she almost runs across and hugs her baby sister, because she wants to suck all this pain from her heart. But it wasn’t for the pain, then maybe they’d still be the way they were; walking past each other every day, fighting with words, never scratching underneath the surface.   
Clouds have silver linings. Just this is a god damn big cloud. Would it be worth it one day?  
“I don’t get it,” says Lydia.  
“What?”  
“Love, I mean. I don’t get what it is, but I loved him. I said it, and I know it, and god damn it part of me still does. But why, Lizzie? Why is this love? Is it love because it hurts? Because I feel so god damn full of ache without it? Isn’t it supposed to be free and easy and special? That’s what Jane said... but then... her and Bing...” she sighs. “I know I feel it, but I don’t understand it. Why is that?”  
Lizzie wants to comfort her, to tell her it’s okay, but again, all she has is this:  
“I wish I knew too, sis.”   
Lydia nods. “Thanks.”

 

_Fin._


End file.
